Infertile. Who, me?

Anyone Follow Ms. J at In Our Own Weird Way??

2010-12-22T00:16:00.002-05:00

If so can you please leave her a comment letting her know I'm trying to get in contact with her.

Thanks!!

8w1d - Ultrasound

2010-12-21T23:36:00.004-05:00

First ultrasound was today. I'm 8w1d today and baby is measuring 8w4d. With a heartbeat of 172bpm. Wow, this is really for real! I am still in udder and complete shock.

Thank you God....you never cease to amaze me.

On another note.....I can't believe my baby girl will be 1 this Friday. Where in the world did the time go??

Thanks!!

2010-12-05T10:12:00.002-05:00

Thanks everyone for the well wishes!! My first appt will be at 8 weeks along on Dec 20th! I promise to try to keep everyone updated with what's going on.

As for Ms. Miracle.... She will be 1 in a few weeks on Christmas Eve! She is my little busy body and so friendly and outgoing. She has been walking since she was 8 1/2 months old. Can say da-da, Ma-ma, baby, DeeBo(our dog name), love you, ba ba, stop, no, sit down, ruff-ruff, thank you. May be forgetting a few but she is moving right along. Waves and blows kisses to anyone she passes or sees. Absolutely in love with my little Diva baby! Now if I can only get her to STTN in her crib... She sleeps STTN just fine in our bed. Any suggestions??

It's Been a LONG TIME!!

2010-11-24T10:20:00.003-05:00

And I have the shocker of my life!!!!

I never thought in a million years that I could get pregnant on my own. Well after a friend kept dreaming I was pregnant and insisted that I test the line was +++ before I was even done using the bathroom! This was the day after my period should have come! So 4 weeks pregnant...I believe, since I had my last period on October 25th.

I went and gave blood yesterday for a BETA and the results at 4 weeks 1 day came back at 391.

I am beyond shocked and thrilled and blessed. Hubby didn't want anymore kids....so hopefully he will warm up to the idea.

Wow! God is so good!!

14 weeks Old

2010-04-11T16:15:00.004-04:00

Ears Pierced

2010-03-23T16:55:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow Miracle will be 3 months old! My how the time has flown. She got her ears pierced by the doctors office today. She cried briefly and was full of smiles right after.

Oh and a recent pic of the two of us.

As for me Miracle is doing great. We took her to the cardiologist about 2 weeks ago to check on a heart murmur. She weighed 13lbs 1 oz then. She will be 3 months tomorrow. She has been rolling from her back to her tummy for about a month now, but has recently been mastering it. As soon as I lay her on her back if thats not what she wants she immediately rolls over. She is pulling herself up to a sitting position. Can sit by herself for a little bit. Talks up a storm. Just very advanced for her age! I go back to work in about 2 weeks. I got an interview for a great job opportunity coming up next week, so I'm praying I get this new job.

Miracle Talking 9 weeks old

2010-03-10T19:53:00.002-05:00

So In Love...

2010-03-07T10:15:00.002-05:00

I’m so in love! Thank you God for my beautiful, precious, amazing gift. Motherhood is all I ever dreamed of, all that I ever wanted. I would do the last six years of trying, heartache and tears all over again if it meant holding my precious Miracle in my arms and having her smile back at me. It was a long journey but well worth it because it makes me appreciate her so much more. From the crown of her head to the soles of her tiny fat feet….I love every single part of her and thank God for her every single day!

9 weeks old

2010-03-04T13:46:00.003-05:00

9 weeks old - 3/3/10

12lbs 12 oz - 90th percentile,
24 1/4 inches long - off the charts,
Head - 15 1/2 inches 75th percentile

Thanks Pam and Michele for your comments checking on us! We do appreciate it!

7 weeks old

2010-02-18T20:41:00.003-05:00

I know I've been a slacker at posting. I really don't know what to write anymore since this was my infertility blog and now I've been blessed..... I don't know if the followers still follow or still want updates now that I'm no long "Infertile. Who, me?"

Anywho, its been a while.

Here is my Miracle - 7 weeks old, 12lbs 6oz

1 Month Old

2010-01-24T14:01:00.003-05:00

Happy 1 Month Birthday Baby Girl!

Being a mommy is going great. I read everyday, so I'm still around. Miracle is a month old today....can't believe how quick the time is flying. Breastfeeding was a struggle, my nipples, were sore, cracked, and bleeding so for the past week I've been pumping and giving her breast milk and I think I may like the pumping thing better, although it is a lot to do. But still seems to be quicker than breastfeeding, since Miracle eats like there is no tomorrow and would eat for an hour to an hour an a half at the breast, every 2 hours. So I can feed and pump in like 45 minutes....but I'll see. She is getting so big, growing so quick....too quick! She has some power legs that she is constantly pushing off on you, trying to stand up, trying to push herself away, trying to hold her head up and look around. Just too fast!! We have her 4 week appt tomorrow, and I go for my 6 week appt the first week in Feb. I'm ready to start working out. Although the weight fell off completely all by itself, I do want to firm up my belly and see if I can get a 4 pack or 6 pack or something....LOL!

I'll have to take some pics today of my one month old baby girl and update later. She is knocked out right now!

Miracle's Newborn Photo Session - 9 days old

2010-01-04T20:19:00.001-05:00

Miracle's Birth Story

2009-12-30T14:40:00.002-05:00

This is long, so if you make it to the end….hats off to you. I made it detailed mainly for my memories.

I woke up feeling a cramping type sensation on Wednesday, Dec 23, 2009 at 5:00 a.m (40w5d). I didn’t think much of them and I went back to sleep, about ten minutes later, I was woke up by the pain again. Again, I say oh its nothing and fall back asleep. This went on for about an hour before I decided to time them to see if they were coming regularly. They were coming about every 7 minutes. I tried to go back to sleep but they kept coming. So around 7:30 a.m. I decided to get into a warm bath to see if they stop, to see if they were the real deal or just Braxton hicks. In the tub they continued to come about every 10 minutes. I had a doctors appt already scheduled at 10:30 a.m. which meant we would need to leave home at 9:30 to make the appointment. At the appt, we got an ultrasound done to check to make sure the fluid levels were still okay and all looked well. The tech guessed Miracle’s weight to be about 7lbs 13 ounces. My doc did an internal check and said that my cervix has finally come to the front, that Miracle is very low and I’m about a fingertip dilated. She told me that she doubts I would make it to Sunday but if I did, that I needed to be at the hospital Sunday night at 9:30 p.m. to start the Cervadil to get induced. By this time what I thought were contractions were no longer coming regularly so I figured it was just a false alarm. However around 2:00, they started coming on again and strong enough to notice.

I start time and they are coming about every 7 minutes. They start to get painful enough that I need to stand up and sway to make it through the contractions. During this time I’ve been in contact with the doula who was ready to come over and help me through the early stages whenever I gave her the word. I told her I didn’t want her to come and it is a false alarm, but that I was getting uncomfortable and would really love some back pressure. She said that she would come and if they started to space out that she would just go back home and it would not be a problem. She came over and gave me a back rub which felt great. Applied lower back pressure through the contractions which were still coming about every 7 minutes. She gave me a foot massage hitting some of the acupressure points which were making contractions come as well. Around 6:00 p.m. she suggested that hubby and I walk around the block. We had to stop quite a few times for me to breathe through contractions. We come back and the doula had the lights out with candles lit and soft music playing. Made the atmosphere feel really nice and soothing. We would spend about 20 minutes in a position and switch up, so we were going from the yoga ball, to some time in the squatting position and different positions and just working through the contractions.

Around 7:00 p.m. she suggests that we walk again. I was getting some pretty strong contractions that seemed to be coming closer together but we hadn’t been timing them for quite a while. Because of the contractions we decided not to walk around the block but rather walk up and down our street to be closer to home. We come back and we do a few different positions again, but now they are timing the contractions and they are coming about every 2-3 minutes. We have an hour ride to the hospital so we were told to head that way when the contractions were 5 minutes apart. But it seems I skipped 5 minutes and went to two minutes. Doula suggested that I get in the shower and the contractions were coming every 2 minutes strong. Doula then said its time to head to the hospital and this was around 9-9:30 p.m. Hubby was running around seeming frazzled and saying that we should have been left. I was still calm through all of this and able to easily manage the contractions. We were about 5 minutes into our hour car ride and my water broke. The gush took me by surprise and I was like my water just broke. Hubby was like WHAT? Are you serious and started panicking. I was reassuring him after contractions that everything was okay and we had plenty of time because I felt good afterwards, but beating the car door in the midst of contractions.

My pain seemed to have gone from a 3 to a 15 once the water broke. DH started driving like a crazy man and we made it to the hospital in record time in like 30 minutes. Once in labor and delivery I used the bathroom and saw that when my water broke it had meconium in it. I knew when I saw it that my water birth would not happen. I didn’t mention it to the nurse at the time and kind of hoped they wouldn’t notice. They then wanted to get a strip on me for 15 minutes so they wanted me to lie in bed while they monitored the contractions and Miracle’s heartbeat. They checked me at this time and I was 3cm dilated. The pain was hard and intense at this time and all I was thinking is I can’t do this. This hurts too bad. After the strip is done which seems like the longest 15 minutes of my life, they got the IV hooked up since I was + for the Group B and started antibiotics, but I was able to move around with the pole. When I got up from the bed the nurse noticed that my water was still leaking and that it had meconium in it and she confirmed what I already knew, I would not be able to get in the water, would not be able to labor in the water at all. At this time, mentally and physically I lost it. I no longer had the focus and determination to do a natural birth. I know that meconium in the water means that the baby has been under stress at some point. This was going through my mind, along with the pain and I mentally gave in. I asked for the epidural.

Hubby and doula were both trying to talk me out of it, saying that I could do it and that I was doing great. I was not hearing it. I wanted the epidural and I wanted it now. I tried standing in the shower and the water would not get hot enough to comfort me, I begged again for the epidural. I asked hubby if he would be mad if I got it and he was like no, if its what you want. He said would you not get it if I said yeah I would be mad, I told him no, I would still get it. LOL! He asked me the code word for epidural to know that I really wanted it and was not just talking out of pain. My code word was broccoli. I hate broccoli so if I said I want broccoli that meant I really wanted the epidural and knew exactly what I was asking for. They told me the anesthesiologist was on the way and I was so relieved to hear this. They wanted to do one more check before the epi to make sure I still wanted it, I was 4cm dilated at this time and said without hesitation, yes! I want it! The epidural hurt a little bit but nothing like the pain I was in. I had a few more hard contractions before the epidural kicked in. It never fully took effect on my left side, but it did on the right side. They had me lying on my side and gave my oxygen which they later told me was because my blood pressure had dropped. My doula told me after Miracle was here that her heart was doing funky things during this time as well which is why they were monitoring me so closely. The epi was lovely.

I was checked about 2 hours later and I was at 6 cm and checked again about an hour after that and I was complete. They called the midwife and we waited for her to arrive. I started pushing around 5:00 a.m. (I believe….I forgot to look at the clock). I was able to feel a lot of what was going on since the left side never really took the epi. I was having some really good pushes so Miracle was coming down great. The midwife said she has a head full of hair and I was like WooHOO she has hair! (I was bald headed until I was one so I was excited about that!) They set up a mirror so I could see what was going on. Doula was holding my right leg and hubby was holding my left leg and mom was behind me helping to push me forward while pushing. MIL was taking pictures and videotaping. My dad and hubby’s dad was in the room but back by the door, able to hear what was going on but not able to see anything. The head crowning was painful….a pain hard to explain. I hear myself on the video and remember the pain all over again. It was amazing though. Her head came out and my tears started to flow. Next came her shoulders and arms and the midwife stopped and allowed me to pull her the rest of the way out and onto my chest. That I thought was the most amazing thing to ever experience. I’m looking at this little baby on my stomach saying OMG she came out of me and she looked up at me with her bright beautiful eyes. And she left out the most beautiful cry I’ve ever heard and I just broke down crying. Because of the meconium in her water they had to take her to the side to make sure they suctioned her out and she was breathing good, so they hurried hubby to cut the cord and they took her to exam her. Within a few minutes she was back on my chest looking at me with bright beautiful eyes. Miracle Ayana entered the world on December 24, 2009 at 6:08 a.m. weighing 7lbs and 10 ounces, 19 ¾ inches long and I was surrounded by all of my loved ones. The birth was great, I had no tears at all and I was feeling great overall. I was in no pain afterwards and haven’t needed anything since. Although it wasn’t the birth I envisioned and planned on having it was the most amazing and surreal thing to experience. 25 total hours of labor, 17 hours at home, and 8 hours at the hospital. To be able to feel her pass from my body into this world, even with the pain was the most wonderful experience ever! She is the most beautiful precious being I’ve ever seen in all my life.

She's Here

2009-12-24T19:47:00.003-05:00

Miracle Ayana
Born Dec 24, 2009 at 6:08 a.m.
7lbs 10 ounces, 19 3/4 inches long

She looks just like her daddy

Update - 40w5d

2009-12-23T12:52:00.001-05:00

Update from my appointment today (40w5d):

Woke up with some pretty nice contractions at 5:00am. Tried to go back to sleep but they kept waking me up ever 7-8 minutes. That lasted until 7:30 when I got in the tub and the contractions were still coming pretty good but at 10 minutes apart. Feeling these contractions I was like OMG what have I done saying I was going to do this all natural....my goodness...hope I can do it!

Went to my appointment and they did the ultrasound. She scored 8/8 again. They are guessing her weight is 7lbs 13 ounces. The internal showed that her head is a lot lower, cervix is now facing the front and a fingertip dilated. Oh and I've been spotting for about the past 4 days.

Doc says she doubt that I will make it to Sunday but if I do, I'm scheduled to be at the hospital at 9pm for the cervidil pill. I'm hoping that she decides to come before the induction route....so we shall see.

Still contracting about every 7-8 minutes now....so we shall see what the little Misses has up her sleeve.

Emergency Room x 3

2009-12-20T16:35:00.004-05:00

So Thursday around 4pm hubby starts feeling sick. His stomach is cramping, he is throwing up and have diarrhea. Finally around midnight he is in enough pain to want to go to the emergency room. We wait and wait. I have a very impatient husband. Around 2:20am he is ready to leave the emergency room. The lady said we were next to be called back but I was unable to convince my stubborn husband to wait. So I stop by Wal.greens on the way home and pick him up so Kaeo.peptate to hopefully soothe his stomach. He throws all that back up and the cycle continues. Finally around 5am he has had enough and wants to go BACK to the emergency room. So I take him back and they give him an IV bag and a bunch of meds. I had my 40 week doctors appt so I had to leave him there run home to bring him mom home and I was about to get on the road for the hour ride to my doctors. He calls back and says he is done to come and get him because he wanted to go with me. So I head back to the hospital and we head up for my appointment. By the time this was all over...I was up for a total of 27 hours before I was able to take a nap.

You've already read how my appointment went. High, tight and closed.

So Saturday morning I wake up and now I have diarrhea, and I'm also contracting about every 7 minutes. Not real painful, but some of them were enough to have me pause and breath through them. Decided to get in the tub to try and determine if these are the real deal or not. Stomach was feeling icky so wasn't able to eat anything. Ate a few crackers and a few pieces of fruit candy before getting in the tub to see if that would stay down. While in the tub I threw all of that back up. (not in my water, hubby grabbed the trash can for me). The contractions continue while in the water, but not as painful. Hubby and I go for a walk a little later and I tried to eat a Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Was only about to eat about half before I started feeling like I was about to throw it back up. Through all of this the diarrhea was continuing and I had more fluids coming out of me than going in me.

So during all this time that I'm dealing with throwing up and diarrhea, so is Adr!an's dad. (His mom, dad, and grandma came down from Ohio to meet the new arrival). Adr!an's dad had also been sick all morning. So now we're thinking that Adr!an was not sick from what he ate on Friday but more so a stomach bug that he has passed around. Adr!an's dad has a few issues like Diabetic, and heart issues so he lost all strength not being able to keep anything on his stomach and we had to call 911 to the house to come and get him around 9pm.

After this and me not being able to keep any food on my belly, hubby insist I call the doctor to let her know it was now about 930pm. I took my temp before doing this and it was 99.6. I waited a few minutes and took it again and it was 100.2 so I finally agreed to call the doc. She said when we have a fever the baby also has a fever and she wanted to bring us in just to check and make sure everything is okay. The hospital is an hours drive away so by the time we get to LnD around 1050pm I no longer had a fever. They hook me up on the monitors to watch how Miracle is doing. They also did another cervix check to see if the contractions was doing aything. Still really high and closed, but soft. The nurse also started an IV bag to get me hydrated again. While on the bag they noticed that Miracle heart was having decels after some of my contractions and they were concerned about that. They had me roll on my side to see if that would help but she was still having quite a few of them. Nurse called my doc and they made the decision to have me stay overnight to continue to monitor Miracle and also to get this ultrasound....forgot what it was called first thing in the morning. So at 7am they took me to get the ultrasound. I didn't get to see a side profile or anything of Miracle because they were checking on her heart rate, her fluid levels and how her placenta was looking (wasn't the luxury type ultrasounds you get at the doctors office). They took me back to my room and I had to wait to hear the results from that. While waiting the nurse came in and said we may need to decide to induce, but if the results come back bad, we won't have an option about inducing, it will be a must. She said it would be a while before the results came back, so Adr!an decided to go home and tend to the dogs and come back. While he was gone my doctor came in and talked to me about everything going on. She said the test came back good. She said the highest the baby can score is 8/8 and Miracle scored an 8/8. She said the heart rate strip has looked good all morning and Miracle was tolerating the contractions good with no decels. She said Miracle was a bit distressed last night but she believes it was because I was dehydrated and not feeling well myself. She said if you want to be induced today I will induce you. I asked her how that would work since my cervix is not favorable and if an induction would even work. (I'm well aware if you start these things and your body is not ready they can lead to c-sections and stuff, because the clock starts at the hospital when you start interventions like these). She said because my cervix is not favorable it would probably take about 2 days or so for the induction to start working and then into labor. I asked her what she thought and she said because Miracle is looking good now, that she is comfortable waiting a few days and see what happens....especially since my cervix isn't quite ready for an induction. So she told me when I come in for my appt on Wednesday that they will do that ultrasound test again and if Miracle still looks good then she will discuss induction for after Christmas on like Saturday or Sunday. I was then discharged from the hospital and told to call if I sense any movement changes in Miracle or labor starts. I'm still dealing with this diarhea nonsense...but just trying to keep myself hydrated.

Adr!an's dad is still in the hospital in the Intensive Care Unit. As I said above he has many other issues other than what Adr!an and I may have had, so all of those compounded together is making things worse for him.

So that was my event filled weekend.

Oh yeah: Yes, I'm doing all of the things to help move her down from walking, to rocking on the yoga ball, to squatting, went and got a nice massage....everything I can.

40 Weeks - NADA!

2009-12-18T20:43:00.003-05:00

Nada! Zilch! Absolutely nothing going on! My doc wasn't in today and the midwife checked me. Said that I'm still high, tight, and closed! She said even if I wanted a membrane sweep that once again it wasn't going to happen because it couldn't be reached.

As patient as I'm trying to be, it was still quite disappointing when I left. I really want my natural water birth and don't want to start getting preached to about inducing. I let a few tears flow about the disappointment, but still holding out hope that Miracle will decide to drop down and get to work. I know how quickly things can change from nothing to something, but it would have felt good to have SOME change, you know.

So here I sit...still patiently waiting for my precious cargo to be delivered.

Oh yeah - you probably remember my post at 38 weeks saying I was 30% effaced, +1 station and a fingertip dilated. Yeah I don't know what that nurse practitioner was checking because every since then I've gotten the same report that nothing has changed....cervix high, tight and closed.

39 Weeks

2009-12-11T13:35:00.004-05:00

And no progress! I'm guessing that Miracle is happy and content in her small little home! Mommy is still doing good, anxious to meet her, but willing to wait till she is ready! I'm hoping she is ready before New Years Eve! One week late is Christmas Day, 2 weeks late is New Years Day....I wonder what this little one has up her sleeve.

Miracle......oh.....Miracle.....Mommny and Daddy are anxious to meet you!

Update

2009-12-08T10:45:00.003-05:00

Its been a while since I updated. I decided to make this past Friday my last work day at 38 weeks. My return day for work is March 30, 2010 so a full 4 months off work. I was debating it for a while because I didn't want to come out too early and then I be at home bored waiting on Miracle to arrive. But I also didn't want to still be working and go into labor and not be able to finalize things at work. So it was good to set a date to have something to work towards, just hope I don't get bored being out of work waiting on her arrival.

At my appointment last week 38 weeks, I was told that I was a fingertip dilated, 30% effaced and +1 station. I started walking on Sunday and my plan now since I'm out of work is to walk a mile a day and do some yoga, hopefully that will encourage the little one to make her way on down. We'll see if any progress has been made at my appointment on Friday.

I still very much love being pregnant, however I am getting anxious and excited to finally meet and hold Miracle. To look into her face and know that hey this is really real. I still have my awh moments like wow, I'm going to be a mommy soon. At times it still doesn't seem real. I can't wait to meet her and smell her and feel her.

Miracle: Mommy and Daddy are so excited that its almost time to meet you. We can't wait till you are here and we are able to hold you in our arms. We love you so much!

37 weeks.....Full Term

2009-11-28T09:51:00.002-05:00

I know I've been slacking with writing and really no excuse why except I didn't have much to talk about.

However, as of yesterday I am 37 weeks. I am FULL-TERM. Can someone please tell me WHERE the time has gone?

I am so thankful for this experience. It was all that I ever imagined and then some. Although the pregnancy is starting to get a bit uncomfortable, I still love being pregnant. It is such an amazing miracle! The woman's body is amazing, God is amazing to perform such an intricate being and tool.

I am so excited to meet my little girl. To look into her face, to hold her and kiss her and smell her. Anytime from yesterday my baby girl can make her entrance! I'm so excited!

P.S. Comment moderation has been turned off....so comments will now show when posted.

OMG...I LOVE them....Maternity Photos

2009-11-09T18:38:00.002-05:00

However, I didn't post them here because some pics have concealed nudity in them.

Sooooo, I've enabled comment moderation for the time being.

If you would like to see the pictures, leave a comment with your email address. Instead of approving the comment to post for everyone to see, I will delete it and send you the link and the password so you can see the photos. (I think this will work....we shall see.....)

I'm assuming it will be my normal blog followers, but if you've just been a lurker for a while and normally don't post a comment, please let me know that when you leave your comment so I don't ignore your request.

Yeeahh! :o) Nursery Finished (Pic Heavy)

2009-11-08T13:48:00.006-05:00

So glad to have everything finally done. The final thing we're adding is the swivel fan which studies show help reduce the risk of SIDs and it will go behind the rocking chair.

Now I can spend my last few weeks doing yoga, reading, and relaxing knowing that everything is ready!! WooHOO!

34 weeks

2009-11-06T16:18:00.002-05:00

Haven't updated in a while....I think my lst belly pic I posted was 25w0d, so here is the comparison. I still love being pregnant, but I am getting excited at the idea of meeting my little Miracle soon.

Next week my every week appointmenst start. I can't believe how quick this is all flying by.

Decided that my last day of work will be Dec 4th! WooHOO! Before I said I was going to work up till I went into labor...but I've changed my mind. I need a vacation and allow myself time to just relax and do nothing and prepare for the big day. That is, if Miracle has the same plans as I have. She can come anytime from Thanksgiving weekend up to two weeks past my due date....so we shall see. I'm hoping she is right on time!

Miscellaneous Follow-Up

2009-10-27T19:08:00.004-04:00

Molly: Btw we have the same bathtub but dont like it. That tub came with a mesh holder. Did the one you have not have the mesh holder?

Molly: what are yo going to do with all that stuff, are you going to organize it? I plan on spending my next couple days/weeks going through stuff. We got duplicates of some stuff, double, triple, quadruple some items. Lots of size 0-3 months of clothes and socks. Like 25 newborn knit hats, like 20 wash clothes, etc. So I will be spending time going through it all, deciding what to keep, what to exchange for a bigger size, what to exchange for something else needed, etc. So when its all said and done, yes it will all be organized. Hopefully sooner than later so my nursery can be complete and I can sit back and wait on my little Miracle to arrive.

Rae: DON'T open all that stuff and wash it all. No, wasn't planning on doing that. Will only wash bare minimum what is needed now and wash the other items as the time comes when its time to use it. She has loads and loads of clothes and I'm sure no way possible that it will all be used before she out grows it all. I plan on exchanging some of the clothes out for bigger sizes/different seasons too.

Alicia: isn't it amazing how generous people are. It is. I am still truly amazed. Every time I walk into the nursery and see all this stuff, I am just so thankful!

So Blessed....

2009-10-26T20:53:00.000-04:00

We feel so blessed. Never in our wildest dreams did we think that people would really understand our journey and celebrate our journey the way it has been. After all the struggles, all the tears, all the disappointments, the losses, I mean through it all you learn that some people will never get it, will never understand. But maybe just maybe my struggles, my story, my lessons learned over the years has touched some and really got into their spirit. Well now they may think twice about saying something hurtful to someone still trying, or giving advice that really is not useful or just saying comments that sting to the core when you’ve been trying for so long and have experienced losses along the way.

Anyway, I’m rambling. I’m just in awe of the generosity of others. After having four showers I had to take pictures, to remember the selflessness of others, and the generosity of others and the wiliness of others to celebrate in this Miracle of life with us.

From family to friends to co-workers we are so thankful.

Even my FF’s who sent lovely gifts (you know who you are) would bring tears to my eyes as I opened your gifts. I thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, we are so thankful!

This was her closet before the showers. I think I bought maybe 4 or 5 outfits and the shoes. But my girlfriend sent me the rest of the clothes:

View from Nursery Door:

SC Baby Shower 10-24-09

2009-10-26T20:29:00.000-04:00

More Pics - DH's Surprise Shower at Work 10-7-09

2009-10-16T18:54:00.002-04:00

These are from the camera man that was taking pics during the shower. The others were just a couple of shots that I took.

Some pics are blurry, but you can still see DH's shocked faced through the blurry pics. Too funny!!!

Work Shower 10-14-09

2009-10-14T20:39:00.001-04:00

Pics from Baby Showers

2009-10-12T18:15:00.001-04:00

Brief Glimpse at the Nursery

2009-09-26T18:31:00.004-04:00

I got my letters and I love them. Lisa, the lady who painted them is still having quite a hard time in the hospital so keep her and her family in your prayers please.

I say a brief glimpse as I'm only going to show you one wall, until the nursery is finish which it won't be finish until after my showers....but I did want to share the letters with you.

WooHoo...I Passed!

2009-09-22T19:51:00.001-04:00

My one hour glucose test! I was a little worried since I'm not the healthiest of healthy eaters. But all is well! Thank you God!

Tooo Sweet!!

2009-09-21T20:20:00.002-04:00

I'm sure you all remember my most favorite nurse Nancy. Nancy was Dr. ML nurse. I was with Dr. ML for a laparoscopy, and 3 IVF's, and 2 chemicals before moving to Dr. S for this last cycle, so Nurse Nancy and I have spent a lot of time together and shed a lot of tears. Well I put Nancy on the list to get an invitation for my shower. You know not really thinking that she would show or do anything with the invitation, but just to let her know I was thinking of her and would like for her to enjoy this time with us. If that makes sense. Well to my surprise I get a box today. DH and I are both looking at each other like did you order something, I said no, he said no so I open it. Its a shop n learn cart cover off my baby registry and it says Congratulations, I'm so happy for you, Nurse Nancy. I was over the moon. How freaking sweet was that!!

Another surprise gift I received was from a friend on FF named Amy. I was totally surprised! She never asked where I was registered or anything so I was completely shocked when I read the little gift card, it was too sweet. She sent me a 2 piece Poohbear towel hoody set and a Poohbear hoody and washcloth set. Sooooo sweet!

Another surprise gift came a few months ago from my fellow friend/blogger Christina. A wonderful book on what to expect for the first year and this soft soft...did I mention soft (the kind of soft that makes you just want to keep rubbing your hand over it) pink Pooh blanket that I want to keep for myself. Just playing! I'll let Miracle use it a little bit and keep it for myself the rest of the time! ;o)

I feel so honored to be surrounded by so much love! And to be surrounded by so much love from TRUE FRIENDS who I have never actually met face to face but I feel like I've known them for years.

Third Trimester....WooHOO!

2009-09-19T20:42:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I made it into the third trimester - 27 weeks! Thank you God!! That is truly amazing! I can't believe how quick everything is going.

I had a doctors appointment yesterday. Drunk that icky glucose drink. The drink itself wasn't too bad, but afterwards I felt kind of "off". Hoping that I pass with flying colors. I also had to get another RhoGam shot yesterday.

I must say that I love my doctor. She is so nice and down to earth. She did tell me it was time to remove the belly ring because my belly was really stretching now, so I took it out last night. DH was very happy about that as he has been wanting me to take it out from the very beginning.

After work I went and got a 2 hour maternity massage, compliments of DH which was my anniversary gift from our anniversary back in June. I was just waiting to use it.

We have our showers coming up soon and I am so excited about it. We are now having 4 showers. I remember once thinking I wonder if anyone will throw us a shower and now we are being showered by love from everyone and it is truly amazing.

DH's job called and they are throwing him a SURPRISE shower on Oct 7th and wanted me to be there. I can't wait to see DH's face as he has absolutely no idea! Oct 10th is the shower in GA which will be at my house. DH let me know today that he was ordered to make sure I am out of the house until the shower begins by our hostess Lisa. I was like what, why? He was like I don't know, I didn't ask any questions, but just said okay I will make sure she is gone. LOL! Then Oct 14th is my office shower and Oct 24th is the shower in my home town in South Carolina. I can't believe how many people are looking forward to and wanting to share in this time with us and celebrate the pending arrival of our little girl. Amazing!

The Saga Ends.....

2009-09-17T21:10:00.002-04:00

So after much thought today, I decided to delete all the post about T2D. Not because of the threats of a law suit as I know there is not a case for a lawsuit. Not because I was asked to have it removed by anyone, but because I have a heart.

Even though the company did not provide the items in the time they said they would, Lisa, the owner always responded to me in a respectful way as all my emails to her were respectful as well. She may not have had her timetable correct on when she would finish the item, but she would take the time to respond to me.

What I do not condone is the way Jacquie the lady who stepped in for Lisa handled the situation. Jacquie response was rude from her initial contact to me and it was very uncalled for and disrespectful. But as I said I will not allow myself to stoop to her level and lash back at her. Yet, I responded yet again with respect only to get another rude reply from her. This on her part was poor customer service. Lisa, the actual owner never replied to me in such manner, but I can’t say the same for Jacquie. Jacquie attacked me, my religion, and my friends. I can not lie and say that it did not hurt, because it did, but I have so much more in life to look forward to and focus my attention on, than the rudeness of one person.

I do hope that Jacquie has learned from this that being kind in an email can go a long way, and you don’t have to be rude to get a point across.

As I stated in my very first post about this incident, that I love Pooh and all characters of Pooh from classical Pooh, to the traditional Pooh, its Pooh, and I love Pooh. So I will hang the letters without thought and I’m sure because they are Pooh and because it is my baby girl’s name, I will love it.

With infertility we have all known a different level of pain that some people will never understand. The pain of a loss, the pain of never knowing if you will ever be a mother, the pain of being lapped by friends and family members, the pain of feeling less of a woman because of how we have to struggle to do the ‘natural’ thing a woman is supposed to be able to do. We hurt, we cry, we scream and get depressed and no one understands that pain unless they have walked in our shoes.

Lisa emailed me and told me that she has two small children, and that she is indeed in the hospital and indeed fighting for her life from a very serious brain tumor. I can not fathom having my mother in the hospital fighting for her life and I’m 27 years old. I can’t imagine how that must feel to a 7 and 3 year old to now have to walk in those shoes. I send my prayers for Lisa and her family during this difficult time and wish nothing but the best for them and pray for the best outcome.

Some of you may wonder after all the attacks how I can be so selfless and lay down my feelings and think of others. It’s because of the love and care that God has taught me to have. Others may not see it, others may question it, but I know the love and care that God has taught me to have and I know that I try my best to portray it.

When I say "I am a Christian"

by Carol Wimmer