Stim Day 8.5 - Finally shaking off the cobb webs

E2 = 771

Lining=9mm, Right = 13, 11, 10 and Left = 12,11,11,11,11,10,10,10 trigger will probably be Tuesday with an ER on Valentine's day or Wednesday with an ER on Friday.

So I was pretty worried at the beginning that I wasn't responding, but now I know that my body does what it wants to do and not what I would like it to do.

So I'm still pretty excited about getting the okay to transfer 3 embryos, however I'm an internet junkie and I spent a lot of the night researching triplets and twins. I would love to have twins; however I must admit that triplets make me take a deep breath. Don't get me wrong, I would love to have triplets, well at this point I would take any number as long as they are healthy babies. I am confident when I think of twins, but triplets just make me think like um can you really handle that. But at the same time it makes me small and truly excited!

But right now I just want some sticky beans....if they all decide to stick then great we will work through this together, but please please please at least one does have to stick so this journey can come to a halt!

June makes 5 years and its been a long long long 5 years.

On another note anyone else spell check not working?

Stim Day 7.5 - Finally some good news!

Okay great news.....she agreed to transfer 3! WOOHOO!!! I was so happy to hear that. I know there is still no gurantee but it does make me feel better to know that I'll have three in there fighting to implant! Todays stats: Lining = 9mm Right=12,10 and she said I have a lot of 9's that will most likely be ready to measure tomorrow. Left=11,10,10,10,10 so now I have 7 that are measuring from the 3 yesterday. We agreed that I'll probably trigger on Tuesday for a ER on Feb 14th or Wednesday for an ER on Feb 15th which gives them 10's a chance to grow to like 17 or so. And get this my nurse even had to talk to me about OHSS. LOL! She said this is around the time that my body made a drastic pick up with my first cycle which made my over stim so they just have to let me know. She said too when she came in this morning the nurse from yesterday came up to her and apologized to her and she was like why and the nurse told her that she made one of her patients cry and Nancy- my nurse said WHO? And the nurse told her Tashida and she was like NO WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER! The nurse told her that she told me it wasn't looking good and Nancy said she told her that she should have never told me that, that she needed to look at the big picture and she would have knew I was having a much better repsonse than last time, she said the nurse felt really bad. But O'Well I DID TOO!

I'm actually started to get excited. I haven't allowed myself to get excited because I've hit so many road blocks but I can finally see the dim light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just praying that the surgery, the diet change, the RE change and transferring 3 will get me at least one healthy bean out of this!

Thank you ladies for your support, I do appreciate it. It felt so good to get some comments from you all to know that someone understands.

Stim Day 6.5 - Come on ovaries - Please wake up!

Today has been a very emotional and draining day. Look at my many post and see how much my emotions went up and down:

9:04a.m.: Well I'm going to pull the plug on another cycle. I'm so freaking tired of this! Yesterday they measured right 11c.filled, 11 and Left 14c.filled, 12 and 13. Which made me think I had 3, the c.filled does not count as they are not follies. So today it was right=12c.filled, 11 and left=14c.filled, 12c.filled, 14 and 10. So one they didn't mark as c.filled yesterday is marked as c.filled today. So I still only have 3 after 6 days of stims WTF am I gonna do with 3 eggs. I'm wasting my time and wasting my money. I'm pissed off and angry and I'm tired of going through this nonsense. I'm going to suggest that they put me on BCPs to shrink whatever is trying to grow and put me on the same protocol my last RE had me on with Bravelle and Menopur. Because I have to be out of town the first 2 weeks in March I don't see it happening anytime soon so I don't know what to look forward to. I told DH that if the switch back to Bravelle and Menopur still don't make any follies I'm done. He don't want to adopt and this isn't working so we will live our life just the 2 of us.

3:44 p.m.: So I talked to a nurse, not my regular nurse who was not in and she said that my doctor said if I wanted to cancel that she was okay with that. My E2 went to 417 today from 293 yesterday and I started Ganirelix which normally brings the E2 down a little on the first day. I asked was my doctor okay with continuing with the results I have and she said yeah she was going to keep you going because she thought that was the best response she could get from you until she looked back at your last cycle and saw that you overstimmed with Bravelle. She was like so she was thinking that maybe she could put you on Provera for the cyst (which did not work last time and I still had to go on BCPs) and do a Flare Protocol with Lupron 225 of Follistim and 150 of Repronex I was like what is the deal with this Follistim why can't I just go back on what I know work which is the Bravelle, the nurse said I don't' know what she thinks about the Bravelle since it overstimmed you last time. I was like well we don't have $2000 to keep putting in meds every cycle for yall to keep wanting to try something different when I'm not responding to the meds at all! They wanted to start me on Provera tonight for 14 days bring me in on day 10 of that for a cyst check after 14 days have AF then start cycling again with a Flare Protocol -- that won't work because I will be out of town the first two weeks in March which would be when I was cycling. So I decided that since I'm supposed to see the doctor tomorrow for my history and physical they do before ER that I'll just talk to her then. I'm going to take my dose tonight and in the AM and see whats on the ultrasound tomorrow and make the decision then rather to cancel or not. I'll rather go on BCPs than the Provera because the Provera is just a waste of time as it didn't work last time what will make it work this time! I would be willing to continue this cycle if and only if: If we have three fertilize that my doctor transfer them all. And if we don't have three she can unthaw the 2 we have on ice and transfer with whatever we had that fertilized and divided. She has been so adamant with only wanting to transfer 2 but this is crazy going back and forth like this and paying all this money on wasted meds for their experiments!

7:45 p.m.: I had to remind myself that I've only been on stims for 6.5 days and the norm is 10 days to stim and I've been reading that some women have went longer and still ended up with a ++ cycle. So I told myself that the max I would go is 12 days if I make it that far before my body and E2 start to pick up because any longer than that I'm afraid it will start to mess with the quality. I'm going to run this by my doc tomorrow, but I don't want to go no longer than 12 and whatever we got at that time is what we have. If I stim till Wednesday morning and trigger that night that makes 12 days of stim which is still normal for a lot of women. Their schedule always freak me out because if you read the schedule they only have you stimming fo 8 days and when you research 8 is not the norm. So after looking back and comparing my stats to other stats that have had a ++ outcome, I'm okay for now. I know a lot can happen with the follices in 6 days especially on the dose I'm on so I just have to be patient and let it happen. I looked back at my first cycle and I didn't have anything over 10 to measure until the 7th day of stims....which is tomorrow. So sorry for my break down today. And I mean I really had a break down. Before the end of the night I'll have to apologize to DH because he really took a beating today....not literally but you know!

See what I mean? But the best part is I'm back to myself and ready to face tomorrow....I think!

Day 7 - Stim Day 5.5 - Slowly chugging along

I'm feeling a little bit better today, I've been stimming for 4 1/2 days and this morning I had in my right an 11 and in my left a 12, 13. Not nearly as much as I had my first IVF, but I guess I can focus on quality over quanitity. The schedule that my RE gave me has women stimming for 8 1/2 days so I still have 4 more days for my body to act right and grow so I'm cool I guess and most women I know stim for 10 days so if thats the case I still have 6 more days! Maybe after so many struggles to get somewhere I can get my doctor to reconsider and transfer 3. She was really adamant about it before about only doing 2 because of my age, but my body has proven itself to all that it does not act like a 25 year old but more like a 50 year old! I just have to wait till later this afternoon to make sure that my E2 number doubles and ups as it should.

Update: Guess I barely made it. My nurse called and said "you made it" I was like I didn't know I had a limit. I said if I wasn't at a certain level today were they gonna cancel me and she said yes. I was like oh - but she said you made it. Back in tomorrow. Oh E2 was 298 today, yesterday was 199. My body really does not like this follistim.....but I guess!

Day 6 Stim Day 4.5 Can something go right for once?????

I'm still not responding to the meds. I don't know what the deal is but I'm so freaking tired of going through this nonsense. I didn't have an issue with my last RE with making eggs on a different medicine so I don't know what the issue is now. Right ovary = 10 and 6 small ones and Left ovary = 15 and 4 smaller ones. Lining 6.2. This is day 6 and I should be having a lot better response than this by now especially with the high dose I'm on. My E2 yesterday was only 73 after 3 days of stims.

update: I called my nurse and asked her if we could add in Menopur because I didn't have this issue when I was on Bravelle and Menopur and actually made 16 eggs on that. She was like but we had to supress you for those weeks and I told her that I was on BCPs for 14 days with my first IVF and I still made 16 eggs on Bravelle and Menopur. She said she wasn't sure if Menopur could be added this late in the game but she would ask the doctor about it and see but that I may be able to add it tonight. She suppose to call back and let me know something. They want to see what my E2 is at today.

update 2: Talked to my nurse E2 = 199 and she said thats a nice jump from yesterday so they're happy with that. My doctor agreed to add in Repronex so tonight its 225 iu of Follistim and 75iu of Repronex and 300 iu of Follistim in the AM. My nurse had said that my doctor recommended that they push me as long as they needed to stimming and freeze all the embyos and then do a FET down the line and insurance shouldn't charge it because it didn't make it to ET and I was like not my insurance. My insurance charges the attempt once it makes it to ER. Plus if thats the case I would be using the 2 embies I have on ice rather than trying with a fresh cycle. So that cancelled that idea.

Hellllllooooo Ovaries - Wake up!!!!

Well I just had my first monitoring ultrasound. Its day 4 of my cycle and 1 1/2 days of stims and my E2 was only 26 so they are upping me to 300 tonight and 300 tomorrow morning and back for another appt tomorrow. I kind of figured I would need a jump start after being on BCPs for so long. I got 8 baking in the right ovary and 7 baking in the left ovary. My office doesn't measure anything under 10 so none big enough to measure just yet. We WILL NOT have a repeat of last cycle, so my ovaries will wake up and respond!

Green Light Means We're good to Go!

So I stopped my last BCP on Monday and waited for AF to show. Old faithful showed on Thursday morning. I put the call in to my nurse and she said that my doctor wanted me to come in that day to get my E2 level checked. I was like today? And she said yes she wants you to come in on CD 1 to get checked I was like okay. So I went in and gave my blood and waited for my nurse to call back. My phone rung and I saw the doctors office number show up and my heart dropped. I said hello with the most unsure tone you can think of and my nurse said "We're good Baby! You're good to go!" I said Thank You God! I asked what my E2 was and she said it was less than 20. I asked if I would have to come in for my Baseline tomorrow (Friday) and she said no, they had all they needed and my E2 had came down so they know the cysts are gone. I was like okay. So tonight I did my first injects. Tomorrow I start my injects twice a day once in the a.m. and once in the p.m. I start my everyday appointments on Sunday, a day early as they want to keep an eye on me since they are upping my meds from the beginning. I so pray that this is the end of our long 4 1/2 year journey of TTC and the beginning of our new future!