Infertile. Who, me?: So In Love...

I’m so in love! Thank you God for my beautiful, precious, amazing gift. Motherhood is all I ever dreamed of, all that I ever wanted. I would do the last six years of trying, heartache and tears all over again if it meant holding my precious Miracle in my arms and having her smile back at me. It was a long journey but well worth it because it makes me appreciate her so much more. From the crown of her head to the soles of her tiny fat feet….I love every single part of her and thank God for her every single day!

My TTC History

December 24, 2009 - Our Miracle is born!
IVF #5 - March 2009 - Am I seriously doing this again....
Dec 2008 Starting 2 months of Depot Lupron
IVF #4 - July 2008 - BFP - Chemical @ 5w6d
Started my Self-Researched Vitamin Regimen May 12, 2008
IVF #3 - Feburary 2008 - BFP - Chemical
IVF #3 - January 2008 - On hold due to cysts - now into Feb.
IVF #2 - November 2007 - Poor response converted to double IUI - BFN
2nd Laparoscopy Surgery - October 2007 - Removed 9 Cysts and Stage IV Endo
Changed to new RE - want to shoot my last one in the foot! - Sept 2007
FET #1 - August 2007 - BFN - Transferred 2 Blast - 2 still frozen
IVF #1 - July 2007 - BFN - 16 retreived, 10 mature, 9 fertilized with ICSI - 5DT - 2 Blasts, 4 - Blast on ice
Laparoscopy Surgery - March 2005 - Stage IV Endo found
Officially started Trying - June 2003

Wait by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word."
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign."
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run."
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint."
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see."
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart."
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last."
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though often My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Infertile. Who, me?

Sunday, March 7, 2010

So In Love...

4 comments:

So in Love!

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Wait by Russell Kelfer