Friday, May 29, 2009

Hi Daddy ~ 11 weeks

Friday, May 29, 2009

Hi Daddy,

Today I am 11 weeks old! Time is flying by! I am now the size of a lime, I told you I’ve been busy! Let’s see whats new that I can do or that I have?? All my vital organs are now formed and functioning so the risk of defects decreased this week! Are you proud of me? My head is as big as the rest of my body, but I’m managing holding it up. Don’t worry….I won’t come out looking deformed…the rest will catch up! I’ve been turning flips and somersaults in here….but mommy still can’t feel me just yet. I’ve been swallowing the amniotic fluid and urinating it back out. All practice for when I get ready to enter the world! I’ll have lots of dirty diapers for you to change!

So Daddy this next part I thought was kind of gross but cool at the same time so I thought you would like to know this part. My intestines are being formed but instead of being locked inside of my body some of it is dangling outside in the umbilical cord. Ewww…..I know huh Daddy! Pretty nasty but amazing at the same time!

Well Daddy that’s about it for my week. I’m tired from all my work. Until next week know that I love you and I can’t wait to meet you.

Love Always,
Your little Minnie Me!


Molly: Yes, I read that too and too be quite honest most days I do need reassurance....some times I can go 2-3 days but that is not often at all. I'm sure it will get better when the babe is big enough so that I can feel him/her move.

Okay so I saw the belly request comments/questions and Christina the first answer is yes, I take them every Friday....I just don't post them on here. And no, I don't have a pregnancy journal....but I guess this is my journal....kind of sorta. And okay Melissa here is your belly pic: (I know you all love how I match my shirts with my boy shorts huh....LOL! I only make sure I do it on Friday's when I know I'm going to take my picture.)

11 weeks:

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Awhhh...reality has hit...

26 days until I see my baby again. Ugghh how do I go from every week to 4 weeks. That sucks.

But anywho.

The appointment with the new Ob/GYN went well.

The vitals girl ask if I had any issues going on, spoke about my SCH and the spotting. She immediately says without letting me finish "oh, spotting is normal I can't believe they didn't tell you that." So my guards immediately go up. I explained to her that its more than spotting at times although it does remain dark brown. So from that point on I was kind of iffy of the place.

Went and gave blood then was waiting to be seen.

The Midwife came in. She was nice. We spoke about my history and all that has been going on and she said we're going to classify you as high risk. Not so much because of what you're going through but because of what you had to go through to get here. She said with a high risk label you get more attention and taken care of with extra care. That made me feel good. She also said they will be referring me to a Perinatologist for more monitoring which I was also thrilled about because I know the check the baby with more ultrasounds and keep a closer eye on the cervix and stuff. I asked how often I would be monitored and she said, we will check you every 4 weeks until 32 weeks I think she said then it goes to every 2 weeks. She said however you will be seeing the Perinatologist as well and they will see you once ever 4 weeks so you'll be having an appointment about every 2 weeks for the entire time or until the Perinatologist feels that there is no longer a need to continue to see them.

I didn't actually meet the Ob/GYN however it was also marked on my information that I'm to see Dr. Brown only because of being high risk. The midwives only do those that are not high risk and Dr. Brown handles the high risk patients. I have an appointment with him on June 23rd at which time I'll get an ultrasound and then get the referral to the Perinatologist.

The midwife said we're not going to be able to check for the heartbeat because we can't hear it until after 12 weeks. DH make a smirking noise under his voice and the Midwife asked what was wrong. He was like she listens to the heartbeat every night already. I told her yeah I was able to find it at 9 weeks and she said that's good, you all must have the good Doppler.

So all and all, I left feeling okay after speaking with the midwife. Had to remind myself not to put too much weight into what the vitals chic said because she's just that the vitals chic.

Oh yeah Midwife said that she wanted me to start looking at some birthing classes starting at 20 weeks and the hospital I'm going to deliver at offers them for free. Wow that's in only 9 weeks...where is this time going?!?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I graduated.....10w4d

What a bitter sweet moment. My RE wanted to keep me till 12 weeks but he is out of town next week so it would push me past the 12 week I gave him our thank you gift today.

This is how it how it looks and it sits on an easel type thing:
A close up of the words:

Baby looks great and of course the techs spoiled me with lots of pictures and good-bye hugs....making me promise to come back and bring the LO so they can meet him/her.

My LO doing his/her dancing moves and me in the background loving every single minute of it.

Baby measuring right at 10w4d and the SCH is a little smaller. I've been having some dark brown flow/spotting so its moving. RE would prefer that I be on bed rest still for a few more months, but told me to keep doing what I've been doing and do as much rest as I possibly can. A few pics of his/her progress:

I have an appointment with the new potential Ob/GYN on Thursday. Hoping that I like the office and they take real good care of me like my old office.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Hi Daddy ~ 10 weeks

Hi Daddy,

It’s me again and today I am 10 weeks old! Today I’m about an inch and a half long and the size of a mondo Brazil nut. I’ve been busy this week and I no longer look like a tadpole but now I’m looking like a baby!

Now you can clearly see my finger and toes and my skeleton is starting to harden. I’ve been practicing swallowing and kicking even though mommy still can’t feel the kicks yet! Oh yeah Daddy I can bend my limbs now which means I can practice my punching moves too! Oh and guess what? My ears are starting to form so soon I’ll be able to hear what you and mommy are talking about!

How have you and mommy been? I can’t wait till I can meet you both. I love you Daddy! Until next time!

Love Always,

Your Little Minnie Me

Hubby had this big kool-aid smile on his face as he was reading it. I was like whats wrong with you....he covered his face with his letter like a big kid, so I moved the paper and there he sat still with this big kool-aid smile on his face. LOL! Too cute!

Thanks for the tips about the pants. That day I actually ordered the belly band from motherhood and I'm just waiting on them to get here.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Probably sounds crazy....but

I think it finally hit me in the shower last night....that wow...I'm pregnant. I told myself that its time to let Go and let God. He has given me my hearts desire and I've been too scared and too uptight to even enjoy what I've been praying for, for almost 6 years. Its time...7 months left that I'm sure will fly by. Yesterday as I spent the entire day with my pants unbuttoned at work because I couldn't close them (well okay I knew before I left the house I couldn't button them, however since DH had ironed them for me and I didn't feel like ironing anything else...I kept them on....LOL!)...reminded me that hey something really is going on in there.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

9w4d U/S - He/She can Dance!!

Please excuse the excited crazy woman's voice in the back ground! I'm kind of embarrassed now the more I listen to myself. :o/

Oh yeah and turn your head to the left, thats the top.

My baby really looks like a baby now. You can see the head, arms and legs now.

Friday, May 15, 2009

9 weeks - Dear Daddy

Okay so DH has still been quite distant from everything going on. He is there for me but doesn't speak much about the pregnancy. Scared to touch my belly and stuff like that. He ask questions about doctor visits that he doesn't make it to, comment about foods I eat, or things I'm doing ect....but I mean like talking to the baby, reading about the baby he doesn't do. I can't get him to read a book to save my life so that was out the question. I even bought one called the Quarter back dad...think football okay maybe...nope didn't even open it up! So one night I dreamed about writing him a letter from the baby and said I would give it to him once a week. I started that day writing the letter as soon as I woke up since I was on bed rest anyway and wrote it up for a couple of weeks. So today I gave it to him. Here is the letter:

Friday, May 15, 2009

Hi Daddy,

Today I am 9 weeks old, and guess what I’m starting to move now! I am one inch long and the size of an olive. I am starting to grow nipples and hair follicles an all my organs are already in place. Guess what else Daddy? This week I’m growing my um…private parts….as we speak I either have a wee wee growing or a hoo-ha growing. I know what it is but you won’t be able to know for about 9 more weeks.

This week I can make a fist and begin sucking my thumb. This week I will be able to open my mouth for the first time. My eyes are completely formed and I can’t wait till I see you, but for now they are going to stay shut until I’m 28 weeks.

Now for Mommy, due to me working so hard to grow healthy and strong and producing lots of hormones….mommy may be having some mood swings. Be nice to her and know that it’s because of me, but she will be back to normal soon.

Well Daddy that’s my update for the week. I love you and I can’t wait to see you!

Love Always,

Your little Minnie Me!

He loved the letter. He was reading and said nipples no its a boy, boy's don't have nipples. I said baby everybody has nipples. He was like oh yeah. Then he was like he is growing a wee wee. He smiled at the end and said thanks babe. He seemed really interested in all that it that is step at a time. Stay tuned for next weeks letter!

In other news I found the baby's heartbeat at home today! WooHoo! Found it at 9 weeks! Wasn't really expecting to find it for a couple more weeks and I've been trying for a few days with no luck but it picked right up today. The readout said 176BPM! Wanna hear it?? Here it is: Heartbeat

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

5 more days

Had another ultrasound today.

Baby's heart sounds great...for some reason they don't measure it but its good and fast. Baby measuring 8w3d. The SCH is still huge so thats why I'm still on bedrest.....he said 5 more days. He wants it to shrink....a LOT.

So thats that....

Didn't get a great pic since Amy the tech who spoils me wasn't there....

Saturday, May 9, 2009

8 weeks

So I haven't done this on here....meaning talk about myself and this pregnancy in the same post. The good news is I have not saw red blood since Thursday morning. I have had some dark brown spotting but not much and I feel much better with dark brown than I do with bright red.

Bed rest is a little harder than I thought it would be. If I wasn't required to stay in one spot I probably would be lounging the whole weekend anyway....but just the knowing I'm not suppose to do nothing just makes me a little more restless.

Yesterday I hit 8 weeks. I just say wow 2 months down already and I still haven't fully accepted that this is for real. I hate that infertility steals so much from you, but hopefully I will feel enough peace to actually enjoy this pregnancy before I blink my eyes and its almost over. I've waited my whole life to be pregnant and feel the joys of pregnancy and now because of my history I'm too guarded and scared to let myself enjoy it. Hopefully soon though....that is my prayer, because I refuse to allow the devil to still my joy from this. So I just keep telling LO will stick, my LO will be born healthy and strong. I have to tell myself this many many times a day. But whatever it takes to help keep the faith....I will do.


I wanted to wish all the Mother's a Happy Mother's Day and send all my love to those still waiting!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

On bed rest.....

Thanks Ladies,

I did end up going in. I was calling my doctors office to ask them and the receptionist said I was just about to call you. They never cancelled the appointment I had set for today at 10 even though I went in Tuesday so they told me to go in. She said she would rather me go in and get checked than to be stressed all weekend until Tuesday.

All is well. Baby measuring at 8 weeks even today. Nice strong heartbeat (click to listen) that I was able to record on my cell phone. RE looked at my cervix which he said is closed and that is good. He is stopping the Lovenox and put me on 5 days of bed rest. Back again on Tuesday.

Thanks for the comments about the Ob/GYN. I made a few calls yesterday and oh my goodness....this is gonna be harder than I thought! Now I do have a current Ob/GYN that has always done my papsmears but I didn't want to go back to him. One he is so far away and well that was the main reason. I called one place yesterday and I asked how often are monitoring appointments done and she oh we do one at 20 weeks. I was like ONE and she was like yeah. So I briefly went over my history and asked her how would things be handled if I was considered high risk. She was like well we have doctors that deal with high risk and they may send you to another place next door for an ultrasound because they have better equipment. I was like oh boy um okay. Then I asked if the doctor I choose will be the doctor that sees me at my appointments and deliver me. She said oh no, we have 9 doctors and we like you to see all of them because any one of them can deliver you depending on who is on call. Okay time to end that call...thank you and bye-bye!

After calling like 8 places I think I found one that I may like that will be catering to me and my situations and I made an appointment for the end of May around 11 weeks with them and will see how that goes.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Ugghhhh I hate it!

I hate seeing this red blood!

Probably TMI below....

I go all day with no bloody was dark brown which I was fine with.

I'm sitting in the chair at the hair salon and I start cramping. Not like an Oh my Goodness I'm about to pass out pain but enough pain to make me uncomfortable and it went on for about 7-10 minutes. Then after getting my hair done I stand up and feel a gush. Go to the bathroom and blood all on my panty liner. Change to a pad and leave. Don't feel anymore flow on my way home but obviously bothered that I was 1. cramping then 2. bleeding at the same time.

I never got a gush yesterday so this is clearly more than I had the day before.

Called the on call nurse and she says because they saw a SCH yesterday that may happen but they are not worried unless it is AF lingering cramps and the blood is gushing like AF. How the freak can they not be worried. How can they tell me this is normal?

I've gone to the bathroom about 2 or 3 more times and each time more blood is on the tissue. Not cramping anymore but the blood is there and I hate it.

RE had told me on Tuesday that I could come in tomorrow if I needed to, if things got worse or I needed reassurance. But how long will this go on. Do I rush to the doctor each time to see the heartbeat or do I trust what they say about it being normal with a SCH.

Ugghhh this sucks!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Back with Details

Thank you all so much for your prayers!!!!

So she puts the dildo cam in as I'm staring at her face. Her name is Amy and I know her well. Gave her a gift with my last chemical because I thought I was done TTC. So I'm staring at her to watch her expression. She said its there, and the heartbeat is there. Okay deep I wait. She turns on the sound and I broke down crying. DH is sitting at my side clueless. When I cried my stomach shook so she lost the sound. Found it again, cried again, lost the sound again. So I looked at DH and said did you hear it. He was like hear what. I said that was the baby's heartbeat. He was like oh thats what that was. So she found it again and he was like oh wow...thats my boy with a strong fast heartbeat. :o) She measured my lil bean and it measured right on point at 7w4d. She did see a little dark spot next to the sac which could have bled some but she didn't see anything definite. Doc on call, not my RE as he was in surgery saw me and said it looks like a little subchorionic hematoma (SCH). He said not to worry that they are very common. He said the risk for miscarriage has decreased significantly since we heard a strong heartbeat. Told me to take it easy and to call my docs office to see if he still wants to see me on Thursday.

So the RE calls me and talks about everything. He put us on pelvic rest again, no running, jogging, anything strenuous...he said become a couch potato until the SCH heals. RE also wants me to get a RhoGAM shot tomorrow. I'm O- and DH is B+. He said that I would get it at delivery anyway something about - blood mixing with + blood and my body creating an antibody against something.... But anyway he doesn't want the baby blood to leak to my blood in case it took after Adr!@n and is + as well and then my - blood creates an antibody to fight against it. He said its been overly cautious by doing the shot now but that he wanted to do it. I've heard it mentioned before but never really knew much about it, but I trust my RE and was cool with the idea.

He gave me the option to keep my appointment for Thursday and get another ultrasound or to wait till next week. I opted to go next Tuesday. He said to expect more bleeding until the SCH goes away, but not to be alarmed. But to call and come in if it gets worse or if I'm worried. He is an awesome doc! He will release me around 10 only 2 more weeks of being spoiled with all these ultrasounds! Now I gotta decide what Ob/GYN I want to go to.....never thought that far in advance!

(((sigh))) Thank you God!

Quick update as I'm at work.

Baby is fine. Thank you God! Just scared the beejeezus out of me!

Heard a strong heart beat and measured right at 7w4d.

Will update more later.

Haven't read my comments yet....but thanks already for the support!

Red Flow

Had some red flow this morning. Going in for an ultrasound in a little while. Prayers please.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Is it Thursday yet???


I'm in real need of some confirmation to know that I have something going on in my insides.

Lord knows I pray there is, but no way to know. Especially with the lack of symptoms.....ugghh the waiting sucks.

Today is 7 I'm 7 weeks.

I only wish that I was able to be happy about that.....the worrying sucks!