Back in beta hell again. Why can't this just be easy sometimes? Beta today was only 405. Nurse said they wanted to see it between 600 and 700 but they aren't alarmed yet. They think I had 2 try to implant and one didn't make it. This is a doubling time of 90.41 hours....no where near close to the ideal 48-72 hours.
I've been in this blah and horrible mood all day. I don't know what to think nor what to say or what to feel so I feel like I'm just going through the motions wishing for Thursday to be here already.
I checked betabase and the median for 18DPO for singleton pregnancies is 403 so I guess I am right in line with a singleton. As much as I just want one healthy baby I still can't help to be sad for the one that was trying to hang on and couldn't make it. My mouth speaks just a healthy baby but my heart longed for twins. But after all I've been through and 5 years of trying I should just take what I'm given and be happy and shut-up about it. I don't even know if I have one healthy bean in there, how can I be concerned about a twin that I never knew existed. My feelings are all jacked up and I just feel lost.
Any reassurance anyone can offer, I'm all ears.