Infertile. Who, me?: Confirmed....

Monday, September 8, 2008

Confirmed....

Thanks Ladies. But as expected its over. My beta was 31 today. I'm going to be very distant from here for a while as we figure out what we're going to do, but will probably still read quietly to check up on everyone. I'm not sure what our next step is, but maybe we'll do the IVF Vacation in Europe.....or maybe we'll....I don't know. But anyway, thanks for the support.

18 comments:

RB said...: I'm so sorry Tashida. My heart is breaking for you. If you need to vent, I'm here for you.; September 8, 2008 at 7:52 PM
Erika said...: I'm sooo sorry Tashida!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers! take the time you need to heal! Know we are all here for you for whatever you need. Would have offered my support on FF too, but had trouble logging in today! HUGS to you sweety!!

XOXO
Erika (aka Cara on FF boards); September 8, 2008 at 7:59 PM
Anonymous said...: My heart is breaking for all the heartache you and Adrian have been through. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.; September 8, 2008 at 8:00 PM
JW Moxie said...: Tashida, I'm so very sorry. I'll be thinking of you.; September 8, 2008 at 8:25 PM
Yolen said...: I'm so very very sorry.; September 9, 2008 at 12:44 AM
Anonymous said...: Hi

I found out today that my cycle (IVF# 5) was a chemical (my 3rd). My heart, as I think with yours, feels broken.

God bless.; September 9, 2008 at 3:08 AM
Soapchick said...: I'm so sorry Tashida. May peace find you. Hugs and love.; September 9, 2008 at 8:29 AM
Ms. J said...: Deeply sorry for all that you and Adrian are going through.; September 9, 2008 at 11:06 AM
Anonymous said...: I am so, so sorry. My heart is breaking for you right now. Please email me if there is anything I can do, even if it is just cry with you.; September 9, 2008 at 11:18 AM
Jennifer said...: Tashida-
I know that no amount of sympathy is going to cover what you are going through right now. But please know that I am really sorry that you are going through this. I am praying for the strength of you and your husband. Drop a line when you feel up to it. Be strong!; September 9, 2008 at 11:28 AM
BigP's Heather said...: I hope you do take a vacation somewhere. I hope you have a lovely time and are able to enjoy being together.

I'm sorry things haven't worked out the way we hoped.; September 9, 2008 at 4:34 PM
Luke said...: Tashida, I am so sorry. I'm still keeping both of you in my prayers.; September 9, 2008 at 9:43 PM
sarah23 said...: I am so sad to read this. I never even saw your blog before but came over here after I saw your very nice comment on my blog.

I am truly sorry for your loss. :(; September 11, 2008 at 12:47 AM
RB said...: Just checking in...hope you're doing okay.; September 23, 2008 at 9:32 PM
The Beauty Junkie said...: Wow so sorry Tashida. I am just speechless.; September 26, 2008 at 10:08 PM
RB said...: You've been tagged :) Check out my blog :); September 29, 2008 at 8:52 AM
Jennifer said...: Tash, checking in you. Making sure youre ok. Drop a line when you are ready.; October 10, 2008 at 7:06 PM
RB said...: Hi Tashida, just checking in. Please post soon, I'm worried about you...; October 30, 2008 at 10:54 PM

My TTC History

December 24, 2009 - Our Miracle is born!
IVF #5 - March 2009 - Am I seriously doing this again....
Dec 2008 Starting 2 months of Depot Lupron
IVF #4 - July 2008 - BFP - Chemical @ 5w6d
Started my Self-Researched Vitamin Regimen May 12, 2008
IVF #3 - Feburary 2008 - BFP - Chemical
IVF #3 - January 2008 - On hold due to cysts - now into Feb.
IVF #2 - November 2007 - Poor response converted to double IUI - BFN
2nd Laparoscopy Surgery - October 2007 - Removed 9 Cysts and Stage IV Endo
Changed to new RE - want to shoot my last one in the foot! - Sept 2007
FET #1 - August 2007 - BFN - Transferred 2 Blast - 2 still frozen
IVF #1 - July 2007 - BFN - 16 retreived, 10 mature, 9 fertilized with ICSI - 5DT - 2 Blasts, 4 - Blast on ice
Laparoscopy Surgery - March 2005 - Stage IV Endo found
Officially started Trying - June 2003

Wait by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word."
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign."
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run."
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint."
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see."
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart."
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last."
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though often My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Infertile. Who, me?

Monday, September 8, 2008

Confirmed....

18 comments:

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