2 more days to go until THE DAY.
Sorry I have been MIA.
I come on here often to read others update but I just don't know what to write for myself. I wish that I could say I have been living in bliss, enjoying every single minute of this pregnancy but that will be so far from the truth.
Nothing has happened to have me worried, no spotting or anything but just the simple fact that I don't know whats going on in there has me worried sick.
Symptoms I have none or not that I think I do, besides the cramps that still freak me out and being tired but that could be from sitting on the Internet for hours researching any and everything that I think about to help me see into my body to see what is going on.
But regardless of all, I am still in the unknown. Why can't I be like the naive women who get a faint positive test and then go tell the whole world because they have no care in the world. Why can't I just enjoy this and be happy about it?
I am truly praying for some relief on Thursday. Relief that comes in the form of seeing exactly what we should see on the ultrasound screen at 5w6d. A sac or two, a yolk or two, a fetal pole or two an a heartbeat or two would be lovely. However, I know that the heartbeat can be there or it can not be there that early so no worries if its not just yet. But best believe it will help me breath a little easier for a couple more days.
I pray for peace everyday. I don't want God to think I'm taking this blessing for granted and snatch it from me. Its just so hard to let go and be happy go lucky when you've been met with so many obstacles before....so many disappointments before.
I took a test to try and ease my mind today. DH wanted me to take one yesterday but I didn't have any so I went and bought more. It did make me feel a little better...but a flutter or two on the screen right now would be icing on the cake, peace in a storm, sunshine on a cloudy day....I think you get my point.
Anyway I'm rambling.
Today's test at 24DPO or 19DP5DT or 5w3d:
DH is cute...when I tested today I handed him the stick when I came out as the line came up right away and he was like its going to get darker over time right. I was like no babe thats the test line and the light line is the control line. He was like no its faint is it gonna get darker. I was like babe look at the test again the line on the right is the control line. After staring at it for a while he was like oh yeah you're right. lol!
The ultrasound is Thursday at 9:45. I will try to log on at work to update you all so that you're not just waiting.
Accepting all the prayers any one has to offer.