Monday, April 20, 2009

The dreaded wait....2 more days to go....

2 more days to go until THE DAY.

Sorry I have been MIA.

I come on here often to read others update but I just don't know what to write for myself. I wish that I could say I have been living in bliss, enjoying every single minute of this pregnancy but that will be so far from the truth.

Nothing has happened to have me worried, no spotting or anything but just the simple fact that I don't know whats going on in there has me worried sick.

Symptoms I have none or not that I think I do, besides the cramps that still freak me out and being tired but that could be from sitting on the Internet for hours researching any and everything that I think about to help me see into my body to see what is going on.

But regardless of all, I am still in the unknown. Why can't I be like the naive women who get a faint positive test and then go tell the whole world because they have no care in the world. Why can't I just enjoy this and be happy about it?

I am truly praying for some relief on Thursday. Relief that comes in the form of seeing exactly what we should see on the ultrasound screen at 5w6d. A sac or two, a yolk or two, a fetal pole or two an a heartbeat or two would be lovely. However, I know that the heartbeat can be there or it can not be there that early so no worries if its not just yet. But best believe it will help me breath a little easier for a couple more days.

I pray for peace everyday. I don't want God to think I'm taking this blessing for granted and snatch it from me. Its just so hard to let go and be happy go lucky when you've been met with so many obstacles many disappointments before.

I took a test to try and ease my mind today. DH wanted me to take one yesterday but I didn't have any so I went and bought more. It did make me feel a little better...but a flutter or two on the screen right now would be icing on the cake, peace in a storm, sunshine on a cloudy day....I think you get my point.

Anyway I'm rambling.

Today's test at 24DPO or 19DP5DT or 5w3d:

DH is cute...when I tested today I handed him the stick when I came out as the line came up right away and he was like its going to get darker over time right. I was like no babe thats the test line and the light line is the control line. He was like no its faint is it gonna get darker. I was like babe look at the test again the line on the right is the control line. After staring at it for a while he was like oh yeah you're right. lol!

The ultrasound is Thursday at 9:45. I will try to log on at work to update you all so that you're not just waiting.

Accepting all the prayers any one has to offer.


Wanda said...

LOL at DH. A should know by now. After all the tests you have taken. See, MEN they don't pay attention. I've been praying for you from the day you started this journey all over again. This is it and I'm sooooooo praying that you will have a healthy bean and its a "girl". After Thurs I hope you can relax just a little and enjoy this precious gift. Love ya

Molly said...

Hi T, dont worry about no symptomps. I did not have any, seriously any... not even nausea or sore boobs. I was surprised to learn that there are many many women that do not have any symptoms !! They use the word "lucky" Wish I knew, I wouldn't worry so much
Molly in BC

La La said...

That is a DARK test! I'm betting you have more than one in there...eeeeeeEEE!! I'm so excited. =)

I know the waiting SUCKS, hang in there hun.

K said...

LOL men are too cute about all of this. I hope that you dont worry too much but that it is easier said than done. Thursday will be here before you know it.

Living With Loss said...

Good luck on Thursday - I really hope all goes perfectly.

What a lovely strong test!

Flower said...

Dh is so cute...LOL...Please update us as soon as you can. Trust in God!!

Michele said...

Honey, I am so with you on your worries. I want to say "it's going to be okay!" but we both know the odds arent always in our favors. But, for today, you ARE pregnant and that line IS dark, and that is a beautiful thing!!! Thursday, I just know you will see a beautiful baby or two and I hope that you will see a HB. (We saw these at 5w5d, but they werent strong enough to get a bpm count and our RE almost missed them, so, even if the doc cant see HB,dont worry!!! Easier said than done, I know!)

I am sending you huge pryers and good luck!

TheDales said...

Good luck!! I've been meaning to tell you that my mom works with a lady who got pregnant with a boy and girl twins by IVF and Dr. S. You have a great doctor and I firmly believe you have nothing to worry about. Although, I know how you fell...dealing with IF makes you too aware to the problems that could happen.

Oh, and if you can't log-on to blogger after you u/s you can now email blog entries. It's pretty cool.

Rae said...

Cramping was one of my first symptoms. I think that's a good sign that something (someone) is hanging on in there!

Where's my miracle? said...

I hope the you find peace to enjoy this pregnancy. You deserve to enjoy it and also shout it from the roof tops!! I am in the 2ww and it is beginning to get to me. The u/s on Thursday should help with the peace. I hope that all is well with the babe(s). You and your lo(s) will be in my prayers!