Moving Past the Hurt

Well as I expected the blood test came back negative on Wednesday. I had already prepared myself for the results by cring my heart out on Sunday and Monday so the results on Wednesday didn't hurt too bad.

The next steps is a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). We have 4 embies that are frozen. Not with this menstrual cycle but the start of the next they will begin the monitoring again, and when my lining and everything is good, they will unthaw two and transfer them in. Then again the two week wait begins. Praying that this FET cycle will be successful.....I just don't know how many more heart breaks I can take.

8dp5dt (13DPO) HPT.....Still Negative

I'm so hurt that this cycle didn't work. I put so much into it, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I'm just trying to come to grips with everything I was so hopeful this cycle would work. The tears come and go but when they come they linger so I had to call in to work today...just not ready to face anyone. My bestfriend and God baby are here and I've been closed up in my bedroom since yesterday.....Just trying to understand WHY. I left a message for my nurse to see if she could bump my Beta up just so I can get the tears all out my system and begin to try to move on from this. Waiting on her to call back. This disappointment is all too much to handle.

On Ice

Well I got the call today to say that we have 4 embies that made it to the stage to freeze. So we have 4 that we can use at a later date. I tested again this morning and the test was negative so the Trigger has definitely left my body which is a good thing. I will not test again till Friday which will be 5DP5DT (5 Days Past a 5 Day Transfer or 10DPO) Adr!@n and I plan on meeting Friday via video messenger since he is out of town for me to test while he is there and I promised I would wait till then so I will. I'm praying that I have enough HCG in my system at that time to show up as it is still quite early. The blood test is scheduled for July 25th at 7:30 AM so I should know the numbers by noon that day.

I'm feeling okay my hip hurts so bad from these shots....but I have to remind myself that it will be well worth it in the end.

I'm very calm right now....which is kind of scary I thought I would be all anxious and wanting to test every single day and 8 times a day, but I'm cool. I know that must be that peace that surpasses all understanding that I always pray for.

Our Babies First Photo

My doctor said my embies look perfect and couldn't have asked for better quality. "Text book perfect" as he described them. Here are our little babies first pictures. All nine made it to today. They already started to freeze two of them and are waiting to see out of the other 5 how many they can freeze. The transfer was very quick. My bladder wasn't full as it was suppose to be because I kept throwing up this morning but the little bit of water I was able to get down was okay to lift my bladder to the level needed. So now the wait begins. I tested this morning and got a very faint + on FRER so the trigger is almost gone. Today was 7DP Trigger. God is truly amazing! After many obstacles we finally made it to this point. Now we have to wait just for confirmation! I can't wait!

Embie Update

My nurse called this morning around 10 and said that all 9 embies are still going strong and dividing perfectly. We are doing a five day transfer which I was praying for. We have to be at the doctors office Sunday at 9:00 AM and the transfer will be at 10:00 AM and I have to bring two bottles of water that I will drink 45 minutes before the transfer because they said they want my bladder to be an uncomfortable full because it makes it easier to transfer the embies in. Praying that my embies continue to be strong and continue to divide and grow as they should.

Fertilization Report

Got the call from the nurse at 9:00AM this morning and out of the 16 retrieved, 10 were mature and 9 fertilized with ICSI. Now we have to wait on the call tomorrow to see how many made it through the night and if we will be doing a 3 day transfer or a 5 day transfer. I hate all the waiting but I can just wait and pray that they are growing strong and dividing as they should be.

Egg Retrieval

Well we had to wake up bright and early this morning to be at the doctors office at 6:45 AM. They started out by giving me an IV bag and said that I had to finish two before I could leave. They did this because my E2 numbers were sky high so they said I run the risk of getting OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) but I've been praying against that anyway. So I sat there as the IV started and they came and got me and told me to empty my bladder one more time and to kiss hubby good-bye. So I went into the operating room and laid on the table and put my legs up into the little holster thing and the nurse with the drugs came back in and she said I'm starting the anesthesia into your IV....Immediatley after I was out and I came too when the nurse was like okay sweetie we're done and I was like you already started, they laughed at me and said yes, we're done. I didn't realize I went out so quick. But she was like yes, we're done and everything went good and we got 16 eggs. I was like okay great, and fell asleep again. They rolled me into recovery while I was trying to come to, shortly after they went over things I had to do when I got home and they wheeled me out to the car. Adr!@n and I stopped by this Chic-Fil-A place I have grown to love. Its not like a normal Chic-Fil-A but more like a Waffle House because they serve breakfast all day and all types of breakfast food. I got a waffle and some country ham. We then went by Walgreens to pick up the rest of the medicine I have to take and I came home and updated my Fertility Friends and took a nap. Thats been our day. Now we are about to do the PIO shot in the hip. This is different than the trigger shot but must be done everyday in the hip until I am 8-10 weeks pregnant. So thats why I said that hip needle was the first night of many.....hopefully I will start to get used to it and it won't hurt as bad as time goes on.

First Hip Shot

Okay Adr!@n and I managed to get the first hip shot done. I must confess that I chickened out a few times before he actually was able to stick me.......I was very scared....its different getting it at the doctor's office but putting a huge needle in Adr!@ns hand to stick in my hip was a bit scary. He did a great job, I barely felt it going in. This is the first of many nights to come.

Trigger Shot

The beginning of what I'm praying is our new life. Tonight at 6:45pm Adr!@n has to give me my Trigger shot in my hip. A brief catch up is that Adr!@n and I have been going through IVF trying to conceive a child. We have passed the stimulation stage and now we're at the point where we can trigger. Trigger is the stage that tells my body its time to release the 21 eggs the stimulation drugs helped me make. We have to go in on Tuesday morning for retrieval and we are praying and believing that we will have a good number fertilized that will grow and be healthy. This is my first try at blogging so we will see how this go. Hopefully I will have a lot of future ultrasounds pics and etc to show in the future.