Monday, December 22, 2008
So we are on our way to Toledo because DH’s father is in ICU. Its about a 10 hour ride for us. After being on the road for about an hour my best friend texted me. This is my best friend since the 2nd grade so a little over 19 years we have been best friends. She knows my history and all that I’ve been through. So she text me to tell me that she is 6 months pregnant and that she is just now telling me because she didn’t know how to tell me and didn’t want to hurt me. Now that wouldn’t be that bad except this makes the fourth time she has been pregnant during the time I’ve been trying to get pregnant and the 5th oops pregnancy. She aborted one, miscarried one and had one and she got pregnant in the 7th grade and has that one as well, so in all she has 2 kids right now and one on the way. I’ve already been providing and doing for the two that she got to make up for what she don’t have since she is a single mother, so why be so dunn careless. She was like she didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t want to upset me and didn’t think no other time was a good time. Okay really, so you wait a few days before Christmas to tell me about another one of your oops pregnancies like Christmas isn’t already hard enough. Mind you this is all through text message. She didn’t have the balls to tell me face to face or over the phone and she has had the opportunity to do both. She came to visit me I think in August and I went there (FL) and she didn’t mention it or hint at it not one bit. She then has the nerve to tell me that she can’t help God made her fertile and that she would give me her insides if she could. I am so over this so called friendship. In her text she kept saying I was trying to protect you my bestest of best best friend and I was like yeah WTF ever because if I were your bestest of best best friend, I wouldn’t be finding out that you’re 6 months pregnant today through a dunn text message. I told her don’t text me and don’t call me again, because I’m so tired and so done with this. After that she called my phone like 16 times and I ignored every single call. I don’t know if I’m more pissed that she is so freaking careless and in no position to care for another child right now and wasn’t more careful, or the fact that she waited 3 months before the baby was due to tell me. And the reason why she probably told me now is because she is going to our hometown on Friday and maybe she thought word would get back to me some other kind of way. If it hadn’t been for that she probably wouldn’t have told me at all. I tried to explain to DH how I felt, I told him that I felt like I had been gut punched but he doesn’t understand it. The more I sit here on this 10 hour ride and think about all the phone conversations we have had, the visit to Florida I made to go visit her and how she could just sit on the phone with me and act like everything was oh so fine knowing she laying around knocked up by yet another baby daddy. I’m so disgusted with the whole thing the whole idea and this friendship. She then text DH’s phone since I wasn’t responding to her on my phone and told him to tell me that she guess I have given up on her yet again but she wasn’t going to give up on me and if I really didn’t want this friendship anymore that I should at least tell her why and that she would still be there for the birth of her godchild (talking about when I get pregnant). Didn’t respond to that text either. Oh yeah she also said you accepted DH cousin’s pregnancy so whats so wrong that I did for you not to accept mine. Um lets see…maybe the fact that its your 4th one in a matter of how long and all by different men, and you barely make ends meet with the two that you got, you’re careless and you always have been!