Monday, December 22, 2008

Gut punch!

So we are on our way to Toledo because DH’s father is in ICU. Its about a 10 hour ride for us. After being on the road for about an hour my best friend texted me. This is my best friend since the 2nd grade so a little over 19 years we have been best friends. She knows my history and all that I’ve been through. So she text me to tell me that she is 6 months pregnant and that she is just now telling me because she didn’t know how to tell me and didn’t want to hurt me. Now that wouldn’t be that bad except this makes the fourth time she has been pregnant during the time I’ve been trying to get pregnant and the 5th oops pregnancy. She aborted one, miscarried one and had one and she got pregnant in the 7th grade and has that one as well, so in all she has 2 kids right now and one on the way. I’ve already been providing and doing for the two that she got to make up for what she don’t have since she is a single mother, so why be so dunn careless. She was like she didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t want to upset me and didn’t think no other time was a good time. Okay really, so you wait a few days before Christmas to tell me about another one of your oops pregnancies like Christmas isn’t already hard enough. Mind you this is all through text message. She didn’t have the balls to tell me face to face or over the phone and she has had the opportunity to do both. She came to visit me I think in August and I went there (FL) and she didn’t mention it or hint at it not one bit. She then has the nerve to tell me that she can’t help God made her fertile and that she would give me her insides if she could. I am so over this so called friendship. In her text she kept saying I was trying to protect you my bestest of best best friend and I was like yeah WTF ever because if I were your bestest of best best friend, I wouldn’t be finding out that you’re 6 months pregnant today through a dunn text message. I told her don’t text me and don’t call me again, because I’m so tired and so done with this. After that she called my phone like 16 times and I ignored every single call. I don’t know if I’m more pissed that she is so freaking careless and in no position to care for another child right now and wasn’t more careful, or the fact that she waited 3 months before the baby was due to tell me. And the reason why she probably told me now is because she is going to our hometown on Friday and maybe she thought word would get back to me some other kind of way. If it hadn’t been for that she probably wouldn’t have told me at all. I tried to explain to DH how I felt, I told him that I felt like I had been gut punched but he doesn’t understand it. The more I sit here on this 10 hour ride and think about all the phone conversations we have had, the visit to Florida I made to go visit her and how she could just sit on the phone with me and act like everything was oh so fine knowing she laying around knocked up by yet another baby daddy. I’m so disgusted with the whole thing the whole idea and this friendship. She then text DH’s phone since I wasn’t responding to her on my phone and told him to tell me that she guess I have given up on her yet again but she wasn’t going to give up on me and if I really didn’t want this friendship anymore that I should at least tell her why and that she would still be there for the birth of her godchild (talking about when I get pregnant). Didn’t respond to that text either. Oh yeah she also said you accepted DH cousin’s pregnancy so whats so wrong that I did for you not to accept mine. Um lets see…maybe the fact that its your 4th one in a matter of how long and all by different men, and you barely make ends meet with the two that you got, you’re careless and you always have been!


Michele said...

I am just speechless. Truly. I would be devastated if my BF told me that, 6m into it. I have a dear friend who is pregnant and, while it hurts, I am happy for her too. (She has lost two.) But to be left in the dark and to be told that way! I'm sorry, but to me that isn't BF behavior. This just isnt right, especially near the holidays. I am so sorry. I wish I could tell you to just not think about it or her and let them get out of your life. But it isnt that easy. And it hurts worse when you know the situation she is in and that she isnt careful, which seems so irresponsible. I am just so sorry. I am praying right now that you will be able to release the hurt and move through this. You dont deserve to have this hurt on top of everything else.

Ms. J said...

I am probably supposed to say something soothing and constructive here. But I am me, and I have "no filter." TASH, you have done everything humanly possible to be a good friend. That does NOT mean you have to keep supporting (financially, emotionally, physically) POOR behavioral choices. You have enough to deal with, you do not need this drama and drain on top of it.

Move along. Your time, love, energy, etc. are better devoted elsewhere. I know this is easier said than done, but I had to do it with my former BFF, too, rleating to her drama and a decade's worth of her poor choices, too.

Ms. J said...

Almost forgot . . . I have said a prayer for Adrian's father, and for Adrian, for you to have extra strength in supporting him right now.

Bless you both.

Flower said...

Now she knew better than that. She picked the wrong time and the wrong way to "share her news". I would avoid all contact with her. You did right by not answering her calls...Where is the birth control??? So many people are having babies and they are not even financially or emotionally able. She of all people knew better and that is the reason why it is hurting you so much.

"She then has the nerve to tell me that she can’t help God made her fertile and that she would give me her insides if she could."

That B*tc#...statements like that makes me so mad....

I am so sorry that you had to deal with her especially since she knows of your struggles. In time, she will realize the pain that she caused.

I am praying that your FIL makes a speedy recover.

Take care

Jennifer said...

First Tash. Your hubby's father and you are in my prayers. I wish I knew what to say and I could tell you what to do about your friend. The fact is she was WRONG- as two left shoes! She should have regarded her own situation before deciding how you would react to it. It was her decision to get knocked up by the umpteenth dude, chose to have unprotected sex- the least of her worries is how you would react; how about the risk of getting AIDS? But on the flipside, you are prolly in a position in life she wishes she can obtain. Its not like you CAN'T have a baby. You have a husband, home and you WILL have that baby. You are doing things the way it was intended and I am sure that makes her a little salty. Keep in mind that your friend needs positivity in her life. (and you are the positive influence)