Today has been a very emotional and draining day. Look at my many post and see how much my emotions went up and down:
9:04a.m.: Well I'm going to pull the plug on another cycle. I'm so freaking tired of this! Yesterday they measured right 11c.filled, 11 and Left 14c.filled, 12 and 13. Which made me think I had 3, the c.filled does not count as they are not follies. So today it was right=12c.filled, 11 and left=14c.filled, 12c.filled, 14 and 10. So one they didn't mark as c.filled yesterday is marked as c.filled today. So I still only have 3 after 6 days of stims WTF am I gonna do with 3 eggs. I'm wasting my time and wasting my money. I'm pissed off and angry and I'm tired of going through this nonsense. I'm going to suggest that they put me on BCPs to shrink whatever is trying to grow and put me on the same protocol my last RE had me on with Bravelle and Menopur. Because I have to be out of town the first 2 weeks in March I don't see it happening anytime soon so I don't know what to look forward to. I told DH that if the switch back to Bravelle and Menopur still don't make any follies I'm done. He don't want to adopt and this isn't working so we will live our life just the 2 of us.
3:44 p.m.: So I talked to a nurse, not my regular nurse who was not in and she said that my doctor said if I wanted to cancel that she was okay with that. My E2 went to 417 today from 293 yesterday and I started Ganirelix which normally brings the E2 down a little on the first day. I asked was my doctor okay with continuing with the results I have and she said yeah she was going to keep you going because she thought that was the best response she could get from you until she looked back at your last cycle and saw that you overstimmed with Bravelle. She was like so she was thinking that maybe she could put you on Provera for the cyst (which did not work last time and I still had to go on BCPs) and do a Flare Protocol with Lupron 225 of Follistim and 150 of Repronex I was like what is the deal with this Follistim why can't I just go back on what I know work which is the Bravelle, the nurse said I don't' know what she thinks about the Bravelle since it overstimmed you last time. I was like well we don't have $2000 to keep putting in meds every cycle for yall to keep wanting to try something different when I'm not responding to the meds at all! They wanted to start me on Provera tonight for 14 days bring me in on day 10 of that for a cyst check after 14 days have AF then start cycling again with a Flare Protocol -- that won't work because I will be out of town the first two weeks in March which would be when I was cycling. So I decided that since I'm supposed to see the doctor tomorrow for my history and physical they do before ER that I'll just talk to her then. I'm going to take my dose tonight and in the AM and see whats on the ultrasound tomorrow and make the decision then rather to cancel or not. I'll rather go on BCPs than the Provera because the Provera is just a waste of time as it didn't work last time what will make it work this time! I would be willing to continue this cycle if and only if: If we have three fertilize that my doctor transfer them all. And if we don't have three she can unthaw the 2 we have on ice and transfer with whatever we had that fertilized and divided. She has been so adamant with only wanting to transfer 2 but this is crazy going back and forth like this and paying all this money on wasted meds for their experiments!
7:45 p.m.: I had to remind myself that I've only been on stims for 6.5 days and the norm is 10 days to stim and I've been reading that some women have went longer and still ended up with a ++ cycle. So I told myself that the max I would go is 12 days if I make it that far before my body and E2 start to pick up because any longer than that I'm afraid it will start to mess with the quality. I'm going to run this by my doc tomorrow, but I don't want to go no longer than 12 and whatever we got at that time is what we have. If I stim till Wednesday morning and trigger that night that makes 12 days of stim which is still normal for a lot of women. Their schedule always freak me out because if you read the schedule they only have you stimming fo 8 days and when you research 8 is not the norm. So after looking back and comparing my stats to other stats that have had a ++ outcome, I'm okay for now. I know a lot can happen with the follices in 6 days especially on the dose I'm on so I just have to be patient and let it happen. I looked back at my first cycle and I didn't have anything over 10 to measure until the 7th day of stims....which is tomorrow. So sorry for my break down today. And I mean I really had a break down. Before the end of the night I'll have to apologize to DH because he really took a beating today....not literally but you know!
See what I mean? But the best part is I'm back to myself and ready to face tomorrow....I think!